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Freelance journalist/WAHM. Queen Bee of The Wild Rumpus blog. TV addict. Hip-hop head. Shoe enthusiast. Animal lover. Coffeeholic. Twit. Alias: Mommy. #binders

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Joined Twitter 1/20/09

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Wooden letters from Michael's plus washi tape = a fun project for the kids' rooms. They are still… https://t.co/ppgi7rTCDs
So, this book exists. Read "Never Put on Random, Dirty Undies You Find in Someone Else's Backpack." http://t.co/grN2hf7SYk via @Maisy_F
Retweeted by Maisy FernandezNever Put on a Random Pair of Dirty Undies You Find in Someone Else's Backpack. http://t.co/gGxizQCbkn http://t.co/lSeJNW0Afq
Kidless for a few hours so I get to hear my own tunes! Inspectah Deck delivers some of the dopest… https://t.co/YYWlOYnZPL
Are You There, God? It's Me, Superhero. http://t.co/Ub22N3ECtT
Is there such thing as a snowblower, but for pollen? Because I need one for my car and the inside of my nose and lungs.
From my 5yo. I'm so glad he sees me this way -- especially that he thinks I only weigh 20 more pounds than him. ❤️ http://t.co/W55aNZY8wg
In MA, I'm watching kids run instead of horses. But after this mint julep, they may look more like horses. #KyDerby #afternoondrinkingKentucky, we are there in spirit. Happy Derby Day! #mintjuleps #bourbonyall #afternoondrinkinghttps://t.co/nyGf8ybTtq
Last day of spring break. Sanity is on the line. Hold me. https://t.co/IAhCm3LE3N
I see that #GreysAnatomy is trending, and all I can think is, "that show is still on?"2006: Back when Lucy could see, and Miles ran shit in the Draper house. Miss you, Miles. You were the… https://t.co/8HjHV3oNUxSpring break. Mommy's little helper. #parenting http://t.co/h4zZ5VLZ5u
Purple Hair, Don’t Care http://t.co/C4N2VhJFgl@ChewingCrayons It does feel great. I feel refreshed, although now struggling to find time to work it back in. #momproblems@ChewingCrayons thank you! I think it's my new color for a while. It's been a fun change!Each morning of spring break, I increase my coffee intake by one gallon.
A great gift from a friend who knows me well. "Coffee keeps me going until it's acceptable to drink… https://t.co/yzvoQmGLrt
3yo: Butt! Me: Hm, can you think of a nicer word to say? 3yo: Penis! Me: Nevermind.
The week in Shakespeare insults. #Shakespeare #barbs #hatersgonnahate https://t.co/JeLI9Thm0vSuper Princess Girl, saving the world while we walked the dog. #girlpower #girlsrule #superheroes http://t.co/ygRbtID2Lc
3yo: "Stop looking at me!" Aaaand, another milestone in parenting has been reached.OMG, is that the SUN?! http://t.co/lq7e8mkl5C
Another day, another hole in the knee of a 5yo boy's pants. Pants shopping and Bandaids are my life.
@TomAngel1 thanks for sharing!
Question on Family Feud: Name a color underwear men buy to hide dirt and stains. No lie, people.Few things give me the heebie jeebies as much as touching raw meat of any kind. *shudder*My Shakespeare insult calendar has been on a roll this week. The weekend's entry is especially… https://t.co/gIwXA2IFHJ
Sweetest dog in the whole world after a long walk on a beautiful day. #lucymaureendraperhttps://t.co/0tupVrGEnTWhen time is a factor, a quick pedicure at home is better than no pedicure at all. Nobody wants to see those nasty toes, y'all.First playground outing of 2015 about to happen. Thank you Mother Nature for finally melting New England snow. The caged animals are free!Kids woke me up from a dream in which I was playing soccer against my son's whole gym class. Not sure what it means, but seems appropriate.
Repeat to self times ten million: "Do not read comments on news stories. Do not read comments on news stories." #somanyassholesLast week, I cut back a bit on social media. I want to get back to blogging, but otherwise, it's kinda nice out here in the real world.@RealMomNikkiG hahaha! Definitely dodged a bullet there.
Power is out. Kids scared and in bed with me but not sleeping. 3yo said my butt takes up too much space. So, pretty great night so far.Two children and 15 jelly beans. Odd number. Guess I should just eat them all.@incredulousmom thanks for the share! :)Because sometimes, your kid yells "Sh*t!" at the library. #parenthood http://t.co/oNOMwXk6Ql via @Maisy_F
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@RealMomNikkiG Yesss! That gives me hope -- mine are 5 and 3. Thank you! :)Is there a magical childhood age where all of the sudden dinner doesn't take an hour and six reheatings to complete? Please say yes.@ramblinma yes! In December, my 5yo informed me around 5 pm I'd had a glitter reindeer sticker on my butt since we left that morning.
@agent_mj Me too! It's been a decade or two. When/if he comes my way this tour, I will be posting the exact same tweets. :)@agent_mj His live shows are incredible. You'll be in heaven.
This Sunday morning brought to you by coffee and Easter candy.@yadadarcyyada @suzie81blog One of my top three movies ever. Love!EXCUSE ME, I BELIEVE YOU HAVE MY STAPLER... http://t.co/xAK8vRJMov via @yadadarcyyada #SundayBlogShare @suzie81blog #JenniferAniston
Retweeted by Maisy FernandezWE'RE STILL TRENDING! #SundayBlogShare - The Biggest Twitter Party Of The Weekend! http://t.co/oFNK6KH9Ft via @suzie81blog
Retweeted by Maisy FernandezI Advise You That Candy Has No Religious Affiliation http://t.co/FrJ5dNYs0k via @Austin_Hodgens #SundayBlogShare @TheBlogGuideRT #Easter
Retweeted by Maisy Fernandez@KnottyMarie thanks for the RT! :)It Was a Good Day: The Parent Version http://t.co/P8lZ2fYbyM via @Maisy_F #SundayBlogShare #parentingWant to participate in #SundayBlogShare? - Check out the rules first... http://t.co/oFNK6KH9Ft via @suzie81blog
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Hands down, my favorite Easter candy. What's yours? http://t.co/1rDybVYMvHLongest day ever still has 3.5 hours before bedtime. I really want to drink wine, but I think I'm too tired. How sad is that?
Easter egg coloring done. As expected, it held kids' attention for 10 minutes and I finished them alone. Aka: Christmas cookies, part 2.
@mamalisa4g thanks for sharing links! :) Have a great night!http://t.co/bYg0DQuJ6C via @Maisy_F #blogging #favoritejeans #itsSoHardToSayGoodbye #fashion #writing #journal #article #clothing #soulmate
Retweeted by Maisy FernandezIt Was a Good Day: The Parent Version http://t.co/4pJj55xP8p via @Maisy_F
Retweeted by Maisy FernandezLosing a Soulmate is Never Easy http://t.co/tsbbYu7Xu03yo just woke up crying and screaming from nightmare. When I walked in, she sobbed, "Daddy turned off Bubble Guppies!" #preschoolprobs
Mom is visiting from across the country, so I'm off the grid for a bit. Love y'all on social media, but I love my momma more. ❤️
A riveting game of hide and seek at 6:30 am. I may or may not have pretended I couldn't find them while I drank a cup of coffee.
It Was a Big Year -- Happy Birthday, Sweet Pea! http://t.co/87waEQMv53
"A handsome man, bringing me greasy Chinese food? Mmm, that's what I want." #lifetimequotes"Stalked by My Neighbor" on Lifetime right now. That is all. #saturdaynight2yo's first night in toddler bed. I should probably be drinking Red Bull instead because tiny footsteps upstairs. http://t.co/EYC7RS7LHGSpring in New England has arrived. :/ https://t.co/ftDrjCji5x
Both of my kids ate all of their dinner without complaining. If you'll excuse me, I'm off to buy a lottery ticket now.What's your root-file song, the one that plays when nothing else is going on in your head? http://t.co/xYXecl1VRN
Retweeted by Maisy Fernandez@MariaMelee What a treat! Enjoy.Life is a Slam Dunk http://t.co/bUK75cObIB #basketball #kindergarten #marchmadness
Life is a Slam Dunk #basketball #kindergarten #boys http://t.co/bUK75cwAk1@Maisy_F Thanks for sharing this, Maisy, hope you can make it to the #BlogParty :)
Retweeted by Maisy Fernandez@yadadarcyyada Happy to -- I love a party. I'm coming, but will be fashionably late. Gotta get these kids down for naps. :)Come to the #BlogParty and share your #blog info!!! March Madness Spring Fling Blog Party http://t.co/5FphCc4aAE via @yadadarcyyada
Retweeted by Maisy FernandezNew product idea: Caffeine patch. Apply to get enough energy to make a cup of coffee.
Wind storm = 32 lb. dog sitting on my lap (and laptop). If only she had gas, too. That would be awesome Oh, wait...Blocked http://t.co/b8plRv5lUW
It's amazing how quickly a stellar afternoon can turn into an overflowing wine glass kind of evening. #parenting#thatface http://t.co/Wm5lbXcd4P
Retweeted by Maisy FernandezI can hear them playing Simon Says through the door of 2yo's gymnastics class. Hope it goes better than Mommy Says, which is always a wash.There is no such thing as too many prints when a toddler dresses themselves.
I'm drinking delicious red wine, paired with string cheese. One out of two ain't bad.Weekly highlights from my #Shakespeare insult calendar. http://t.co/fVMmPsuvL6“@HuffPostEnt: "The Walking Dead" spinoff will definitely catch up with the original series http://t.co/S4P3Rlv6F0” Can't wait!I just battle rapped my 4 year-old and rhymed "take a nap" with "piece of crap" so don't tell me about your parenting skills.
Retweeted by Maisy Fernandez
It's one of those nights around here. http://t.co/bS1FUoT5ZyThe very best soap around! "@HonoluluDaily: Shaka Street Soap Works at Anthropologie http://t.co/O9Mmxeyhv4Maternal lie of the day: "It's such a bummer that the new KidZ Bop CD won't be out before our road trip next week!"
Retweeted by Maisy FernandezWhat You Say vs. What Your #Toddler Hears - http://t.co/Q6yOA5H5rs #toddlerlife #todderlogic
Retweeted by Maisy Fernandez@24HourBitching @WorkingMom86 That's how I feel when people pronounce the L in salmon!A piece of waffle fell off the fork and hit the floor. Meltdown that ensued was more effective than coffee.Archie Warren: The Dog That Used Crosswalks http://t.co/kyTkXOsEde
To the Complete and Total Strangers From Costco http://t.co/9AbibFkY4D via @scarymommy @chewingcrayons Congrats!Blue Ribbon #Flu >>> That Ain't A Puddle You Want To Jump In by @ChewingCrayons http://t.co/9Ac1lcCUXZ #motherhood http://t.co/a5HiVgenMh
Retweeted by Maisy FernandezI am having a vegetarian corn dog for dinner. Try to keep your jealousy at bay, people.One Lovely Blog Award http://t.co/SD6ugoOe2h via @Maisy_F Thank you @mamalisa4gVote for your favorite #momblogger this week by clicking on your favorites: http://t.co/TBJUs0Tj6v @MompreneurMaria @AmaBellaRosa @Maisy_F
Retweeted by Maisy Fernandez@MomDrinksWine @ItsFreeAtLast @SteelWrkrWife @coachdanalucas @JezabellMaple :) Thanks for the shout out! Happy Friday!#FF our fellow mommy bloggers: @ItsFreeAtLast @Maisy_F @SteelWrkrWife @coachdanalucas @JezabellMaple CHEERS! http://t.co/ykYY0eBEhc
Retweeted by Maisy Fernandez
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